How can I get a better social life?

How can I get a better social life? by Lexi Perry

Answer by Lexi Perry:

My number one suggestion is something my ex-boyfriend told me that I'll never forget:

Act like you've been best friends with anyone since birth, and you'll never fail at becoming actual friends with them.

This was in my junior year of high school, he had tons of friends, everyone liked him. He was naturally confident and he had this way about talking to someone as if they'd known each other forever. By the end of the initial conversation, it would be like they had known each other forever.

I had quite a few friends, but I decided to put a new spin on his tactics. I began going to different people in my classes, on my swim team, and sparking up random conversations with jokes thrown in. The trick was my sarcasm. I’d kid around with these people like they were my best friend. I'd poke fun at them and they'd fall for my friendship every single time. It became second nature to treat people this way and the outcome was always identical to the last.

I know it sounds weird, and clearly a bit difficult if you aren't extroverted like me or my ex, but it’s foolproof. As for the hanging out with friends, just ask someone! The worst they can possibly say is no.

Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes and comments! I just want to address one thing – a lot of the people in the comments have been pointing out that introverts may not be adaptable enough to conform to this tactic. While this is true, I believe that if an introvert ever feels awkward or nervous while interacting with another person (I understand this may be a challenge), if you try inserting a light hearted comment or even a simple compliment, it goes a very long way. Me being an extrovert, it's difficult for me to understand how introverts operate. Feel free to comment about your own experiences as an introvert and I'm always happy to hear suggestions to better my advice.

How can I get a better social life?

What is the most valuable programming skill at the moment?

What is the most valuable programming skill at the moment? by Ken Mazaika

Answer by Ken Mazaika:

The most valuable skill is the one you’re probably not thinking of.

(image via

Just the other day, I was talking with a student of mine on a Google Hangout about this very same topic.

At the end of our conversation, here’s what he said to me:

“Ken, that’s the single most boring piece of programing advice I’ve ever received. But I’m so happy you gave it to me.”

Here’s the gist of what I said:

Just like in any other field, everyone in programming likes to talk about the latest stuff. Lots of the conversations that I have right now are about things like:

  • Is AI the future of programming?
  • Should I be learning about VR?
  • Will React/Elixir/Websockets be the biggest technology of the next 5 years?

All of this is fun to talk about. But if you’re only focusing on the cutting edge technologies, you’re completely missing the point.

Programming has always been about one main skill:

You need to be really good at figuring things out on the fly.

Technology will constantly evolve. There are always going to be new programming languages and frameworks coming out all the time. You shouldn’t spend your time chasing the cool trends.

Instead, you should spend your time on becoming a Self-Sufficient Developer, somebody who can learn new things as they arise.


Markets change. Nobody knows for sure what the next big thing in programming will actually be.

The one constant is that the market will always have a demand for people who can:

  • Effectively use Google searches
  • Solve the problems that they’re faced with
  • Figure stuff out quickly

Become exceptional at figuring things out. Then you’ll always be in-demand.

If you want to become an in-demand developer but are unsure of where to start, check out The Coder’s Compass, a tool I helped build to help aspiring developers find their way.

If you liked my answer, I’d appreciate it if you upvoted it by pressing the light blue button below.

What is the most valuable programming skill at the moment?